


we've been here before

by betweentheskies



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Happy Harry, Nervous Harry, basically an overview of his break + snl, he just looked so peaceful on stage, i hoped i showed that?, one direction - Freeform, one direction break, solo harry, the boys + jimmy fallon mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 07:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10715274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betweentheskies/pseuds/betweentheskies
Summary: the break has honestly made harry pretty happy. peaceful mornings, a movie, writing songs. it's all lead up to this, his first solo performance on saturday night live. his nerves are running wild but the memories of performing with his boys brings back happy, peaceful memories





	we've been here before

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written anything in forever so forgive me for scatterbrained writing! harry just looked and sounded so good on snl that i had to dedicate a little piece to him.

at the beginning of the break, he was sad. a bit nervous about the future, too. and, he wasn't going to lie, he was pretty excited. he and the boys (plural, as in all five of them), had been worked so hard, drained of energy and the fire they had when they were first signed. harry loved writing and performing, he really did, but the two week breaks weren't cutting it anymore. they each had lives, had families, hell, some were fathers now. the time off that they called a "break" was really a cloud with a silver lining.

one morning, a month in, harry realized just how rejuvenated he felt. his phone wasn't clogged with (too) many business-related messages, he could take his time getting ready for the day, he could sleep the day away. whenever he had free time that wasn't spent with family, he wrote. endless pages that were half ramblings, half serious lyrics. he felt almost giddy as his pen scrawled across a page, a loose smile on his face as he turned his thoughts into writing. he got to fully express himself without fear of clashing with the other styles of the boys or with management, who would often cut out whole stanzas that didn't fit the "boyband" vibe. he could be himself, harry styles.

and in the midst of that he somehow landed himself a movie roll. a director wanted him, the boy who constantly tripped on stage, to act serious and professional in front of a camera. and in all honesty… he loved it. he was able to explore this new side of him, this serious one that nearly threw him out of his comfort zone. he knew how to settle his nerves in front of a crowd, but to work that energy into forming an entirely new person was different and exhilarating. he met new people, famous people, ones that he's read about in the news instead of himself.

the movie, though, was nothing compared to recording and setting up his first solo album. the meticulous planning, the long meetings, even the photoshoots were all little steps towards sharing his project with the world, with his fans, especially the ones who have stuck by his side from day one.

when his manager gave him a call, he was pleasantly surprised to find out that saturday night live wanted him to be their musical guest. for a moment, out of instinct, he wanted to ask niall or liam or louis if snl would include them in a skit again, what the promos would be like, but then it hit him that he would be doing this alone. just him. he would be performing by himself. alone. the stage would probably feel too empty without the three other boys around him. 

but again, he was excited. he loved new york city. the energy, the lights, the people. but he was also nervous. there would be no one to look at during the performance that would shoot him a smile or wink, a silent 'everything is fine' to settle harry's nerves. thank god for jimmy fallon, the animated host who wouldn't let harry's emotions dive too deep. the skits were a temporary release from the internal countdown to his first of two performances, the first solo time on stage with the spotlight just on him.

and soon it was time. stage hands ushered him to the stage, hands on his arms blindly leading him to his spot in the dark. in the faint light he could see the heads of the audience, their faces a dark mask that, for a moment, left his stomach churning. the lights of the main stage suddenly rose and there was jimmy, casually standing, and then the red lights of the cameras lit up. 

"ladies and gentlemen, harry styles!" jimmy cried out, his enthusiastic voice causing the crowd to cheer and clap as the camera panned. 

the lights stayed dimmed, thankfully, as the first notes of the song played. harry seemed to suddenly enter this trance-like state as the notes carried him to a better place with the peace of recording the song. the small details, the rerecording of the same lines over and over. 

as he stepped up to the microphone, he was momentarily surprised at how easily the words flowed. well, at least he didn't choke. that was a plus. and as he continued to sing, he fell back into a place similar to de-ja-vu. he could imagine the others around him, like a safety net, and as he sang "we've been here before," he realized he has. he's been on this stage, he's been on his own, he's sang his own words. 

a sense of relief washed over him, comfort, content. he fell into a rhythm, both with the song and himself, and before he knew it the song was over. the final cords brought the song to a close and the crowd roared. he took a step back, gave a little bow, and smiled.


End file.
